I tried my hardest today.

I managed to do a few things at home and went to my relatives house. I can’t do my steps today because I’m exhausted. I tried to do them while cleaning and tidying my flat, that only got me to nearly 3,000 steps. I had to tidy up the flat before I start studying my uni modules. The place was a mess. I only had the energy to do what is required today.

I just can’t right now.

This is just one of those days where I truly don’t feel too well. I didn’t have much sleep. I think I may have fallen asleep at 5 am. I had to be up by 10 am for an online tutorial. I’m supposed to be going over to a relatives later but I’m just too tired. The 10,000 steps is also something I just can’t face today. I don’t even want to go outside, let alone walk outside. That means being around people. I’m far too tired for that stuff. I could try doing that many steps around my flat but it’s not easy to do that many inside. I said I’d do it so I will try but it may not work. I feel like I’m wasting the weather because the sun is out, albeit it’s getting colder and windy. That is not really something that can be avoided this time of the year. I don’t like being this way. It is just part of my disability. This is the reason why I’d never hold down a job. I just have to be alone sometimes, can’t face going outside and extremely tired.

I made myself do it because I said that I would.

I nearly didn’t do my 10,000 steps today. I made myself go. I hate not doing things that I have promised to do. I can’t do much about my autism but I can control everything else. I tried to have a cool bath when I got home. It just isn’t pleasant this time of year. October and September haven’t been as cold as normal. The autumn chill in the air has arrived over the previous three days. Many people are in their jackets or winter coats… not me because either I have been heading into the gym or had long sleeves on walking so I haven’t felt the cold. I’m glad that I went to the gym, enjoying it would not be the description I used. The bath when I got home was the best part of it. I’m quitting alcohol so that I get better results. I know for a fact that my muscles swell up for longer if I consume alcohol. It stalls the process of toning. I don’t want to be fat so I have to just not buy them. I have to go now, first tutorial tomorrow morning for open university degree course. I can’t sleep in due to it being am.