Day: October 2, 2021

I am going the gym later so I will do as many steps as possible there. I just can’t walk due to weather today. I didn’t sleep well again so going back to sleep for a bit. I have to wake up by a certain time for my medication. I have a lot to do when I am up. I have my first tutorial of the academic year tomorrow and need to do an activity in preparation for it. Things are quite busy at the moment and due to sleep issues its all a bit chaotic. Chaotic is autism life and its even worse with the trauma that I have experienced on top. I constantly flick from one thing to another. That is how I managed to function enough to do every day things. I just feel like I constantly never truly catch up with everything. I don’t think the gym will be easy later but I have to keep in that routine. I technically don’t have to go until Monday but I’m trying to go twice a week. I have gained two inches all over binge drinking and over eating so I really have to work harder.

I have got to that point where I hate alcohol. It only makes me feel sick after drinking a lot over the evenings during the last fortnight. I feel sick after the two week bender. I feel stressed when it stops me losing weight. I could have lost a lot more weight by now if had quit alcohol all together. I need to last more than just one week as that makes me pile weight back on. The effort I have put in at the gym are destroyed by alcohol consumption, then my body is trying to tone and bloat at the same time. I can’t do that any longer because I don’t get any rest.