I might act hard about things I have experienced, i.e loss. That doesn’t mean I’m not hurting sometimes. It doesn’t matter how long ago something happened. Occasionally, seeing certain everyday things make me sad. In the car park the other day there was a girl being picked up from work by her dad. That would definitely be my dad. If my dad had still been alive then we wouldn’t still be living in this area. After mum retired they were set to move to another area. I would also not have lost Jonny to adoption because the dynamics would have been different. Official assessments done by the social services social workers see those coming from a one parent environment as being from a ’broken home’. That shouldn’t be the case, but that is how they’ve been trained via social work university degrees etc. Normal social worker training has taught the graduates that anything but the traditional two parent family means they are a ’problem’ that needs to be avoided and contained rather than a ‘problem that can be helped with appropriate support’ for the individuals in that unit to function properly.
I had no grandparents by the time I was 10. That could get extremely hard watching others that still had them as a child. That is the consequence of being a late baby. I was born when my grandparents were 70 odd. I have learned to not let it hurt me. Time passing helps but doesn’t take it away completely.