I am constantly around people who bring me down / always mindful that I may accidentally bump into my son as he gets older.

I cannot stand my weight being this way. Then my mum starts saying I look nothing like I used to now I’ve gained this much weight. I mentioned a child looking at me who would have been my sons age with similar looking features he may have as he got older. I was walking passed him, another child and an adult man. I walked onto the road to let them pass. When he had just been placed with the adopters, I was sure he had been placed locally because I was sure I had seen him in a car and a pushchair. I can only guess what he would look like now. I don’t think I look much different from the photos that they took for his life story book while we were at the contact centre.

I also get my ear bent regularly that his date of birth was written wrongly on the system during the adoption process. It’s not the 18th April 2012, it was the 16th April 2012. I have that date tattooed on my wrist under the name Jonny (which is what he was known by when he was born), as far as I know they officially left him with the forename David (family tradition, dads side, first born son always gets that name, but they get called by the middle name, Jonathan – Jonny (nickname). I can’t make sure his date of birth is corrected. I have no way of updating the records or telling his adoptive family to celebrate his birthday on 16th.