Resting today.

I woke up aching from the gym. I’m definitely still unfit. It’s not as bad as the first session. I suppose that’s a good sign. The bits which hurt are muscles that I don’t use every day. I don’t have any aches in my arms or legs because I use them in daily life. However, my back right in the middle is a muscle that only gets used at the gym. I’ve taken a painkiller to help with the after effects. It shouldn’t take long to ease off. I’ve previously trained my stomach muscles so they aren’t complaining. It’s the one right in the middle of my back which keeps complaining. It’s a good sign that the aches aren’t so bad after the second session back at the gym. It’s going the right way. I will be fine once my muscles are used to the weight machines. I took half an antidepressant tablet last night. It worked. I’m not constantly hungry today. I don’t need a lot. The main issue I’ve always had is sleeping. I get depressed because I can’t sleep. Half a tablet still helped with that issue. I don’t naturally get depressed. Of course I do feel down due to what I’ve been through but there’s a huge difference. Maybe I never needed most of the medication they gave me. Autism can’t be treated by medication, it helps me mask that side of me. That never really benefited me. That was for everyone around me. It’s early days yet but maybe this new very slight dosage of antidepressants could be more beneficial to me. I may not feel so numb as I did on stronger dosages. I missed being able to feel emotions. It affects me as a writer because my writing became rather emotionally detached. That caused writers block when it came to trying to write a proper book rather than just the blog. I don’t know yet. I can hope that is the result.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

%d bloggers like this: