I got up at a reasonable time this morning.

I actually slept properly last night. I didn’t drink alcohol and had no problem getting to sleep after my medication. I don’t like this new medication because it constantly makes me hungry. I’ve eaten 3 bags of crisps (us: potato chips) since I got up today. That’s alongside a sandwich for my dinner. I had cereal at about half 5 when I first woke up. I fell asleep for a while because it was too early to get up. I got up properly about 10. I absolutely hate my body. I just feel too big right now. I’m used to being a lot smaller. I’m not staying on that medication (antidepressant) if it keeps making me hungry. I’m only on the lowest dose 15mg. I could half it to 7.5mg so I stop feeling hungry after meals. I wasn’t tired when I got up but now I’m tired. I should have done the housework when I had the energy. I still have a few hours before I have to go out. If I do it slowly in between watching tv I might get a lot done without it feeling like climbing up a hill. I still have aching muscles so I feel like I’m dragging myself around. I think that I’ve probably gained half a stone through alcohol consumption recently. I feel depressed looking at my body which is defeating the object of antidepressants. I want my old body back but I have no chance with this new medication. The cat didn’t want to take his medication this morning and then he got grumpy with me when he started feeling his infection again. Hopefully he will take it on his next feed. If I hide it in his food well enough he won’t notice. He’s took it during the week. I don’t know why he’s decided to be difficult today.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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