Ableism hurts when people have no idea what they’re talking about.

I urge people not to share ableist views unless they’re sure that they know what they’re actually talking about. There is always ableism around when the Paralympics are on. Yes, there may be many disabled people overcoming barriers in the competitions but they are only a proportion of people who have disabilities. We don’t all have the same opportunities to overcome our disabilities. Those competing in the games probably had a lot of support. The support for those with physical disabilities is a lot more accessible than for things like autism. People with mental health issues, autism etc don’t have much family support because of these types of disabilities are seen as too challenging and/or misunderstood. Most of my life I’ve had to do things on my own because others don’t want to get involved with things outside their comfort zone which they don’t understand. Many people with physical disabilities at least have a few friends. Those of us with autism or mental health problems don’t tend to have friends on a long term basis. Most of my friends are temporary and I don’t see the ones I’ve known for years.

I’m sure that myself and others don’t want to be compared with those competing at the Paralympics. We all have different circumstances. I fell into addiction due to this kind of ableism. The kind that says… if they can be successful then we should try harder. I’ve tried so hard. That makes it seem like I haven’t tried to succeed. I may have succeeded in damaging my organs because of those opinions though. I’ve got lower back ache since I was drinking a lot. Your attitudes could lead to someone’s death. It’s common for those with mental health conditions to self medicate with things like alcohol leading to addiction. I haven’t drank alcohol since Friday but my back ache still hasn’t disappeared yet. That part isn’t sore muscles from the gym. So if possible, please keep the ablest views to a minimum because many of us don’t want to hear assumptions based on what the mainstream media report. Many of you don’t know what it’s like to be disabled in regard to being autistic etc. You shouldn’t make assumptions about things you don’t understand.

I got up at a reasonable time this morning.

I actually slept properly last night. I didn’t drink alcohol and had no problem getting to sleep after my medication. I don’t like this new medication because it constantly makes me hungry. I’ve eaten 3 bags of crisps (us: potato chips) since I got up today. That’s alongside a sandwich for my dinner. I had cereal at about half 5 when I first woke up. I fell asleep for a while because it was too early to get up. I got up properly about 10. I absolutely hate my body. I just feel too big right now. I’m used to being a lot smaller. I’m not staying on that medication (antidepressant) if it keeps making me hungry. I’m only on the lowest dose 15mg. I could half it to 7.5mg so I stop feeling hungry after meals. I wasn’t tired when I got up but now I’m tired. I should have done the housework when I had the energy. I still have a few hours before I have to go out. If I do it slowly in between watching tv I might get a lot done without it feeling like climbing up a hill. I still have aching muscles so I feel like I’m dragging myself around. I think that I’ve probably gained half a stone through alcohol consumption recently. I feel depressed looking at my body which is defeating the object of antidepressants. I want my old body back but I have no chance with this new medication. The cat didn’t want to take his medication this morning and then he got grumpy with me when he started feeling his infection again. Hopefully he will take it on his next feed. If I hide it in his food well enough he won’t notice. He’s took it during the week. I don’t know why he’s decided to be difficult today.