Day: August 23, 2021

I’ve had a long day. I’m treating myself to a few alcoholic drinks to chill out. I’m off to the gym tomorrow to burn off the excess calories so it’s not that bad. I fell off the wagon but I realised that I don’t want to give up alcohol completely. I can regulate it and go the gym to stay in a less rounded shape. Life is for enjoying, we only live once. I don’t want to be an uptight tee total boring person. It’s all about balance not depriving yourself of any aspect of life.

I have a disability and I should rightfully be entitled to support. That doesn’t happen! Literally, I’m stressed at the state of my flat and I look a state because I’ve been neglected. I’ve tried to straighten my hair to look a bit better but my stomach is awful! I can’t get rid of the fat from being neglected! I don’t want to look fat and ugly. It happens to loads of older disabled people and that distresses me when I think going that way! It doesn’t matter that I’m now going to go to the gym. Neglect doesn’t go away by gym trips. I was gaining weight a few years ago due to neglect before I ended up in prison. I do not want to live in this mess. I don’t want to look like this… stop neglecting me as a disabled adult!

Mister seems a lot happier than he was before we went to the vets. Obviously, the injection they gave him is doing what it should be. I’m starting to feel extremely tired now. The flat is a mess. I’m too tired to even function properly, let alone tidy up. It’s a nice day for a walk but I’m not feeling up to that either. I’m constantly hungry on my new medication which isn’t helping with trying to lose weight. I don’t know how I’m not going to eat when I’m feeling like I’ve not eaten anything after every meal. I will never be thinner if I’m hungry but too tired to exercise. I know it’s only been a few days but I’m starting to feel fat already. I wish that I was as easy to fix as the cat. The mess in the flat, along with the smell where mister has done his business (but I haven’t pinpointed where) is making me less motivated.

Mister is now sorted. He had an inflamed bladder. They’ve given him two injections we’ve picked up an anti biotic and painkillers. He should be better within a week. I also have to get special food for his urinary tract. We are now in the car ready to go home.

I thought that we were going to not get here this morning but I managed to get up without feeling tired. Mister wasn’t happy with the car journey. I don’t know how long we are going to be waiting but mister is watching a dog that sounds in pain in the waiting room. I’m sure he’s quite scared but we are here now and just have to wait. I actually cannot feel the sedative effect of my medication any more. I took it last night despite being reluctant due to having to get up early. It was an easier fight to get mister in his carrier than I expected. I really didn’t want to bring him but we can’t carry on the way we have been for the last few years.