Day: August 19, 2021

I slept the whole day because I couldn’t sleep last night. I should have slept last night as I got up by mid day yesterday and then was busy for hours. I just couldn’t sleep. This is the first day I’ve stopped taking my medication ready to go onto the next one. If I didn’t sleep last night I’m definitely not going to sleep tonight because restlessness is a withdrawal side effect to my current medication. I had a later bath tonight to try to prevent being restless. I’ve been out in the car to get a few bits so I’ve used up some energy. I do have the flat to tidy up because the cats have brought mud in etc.

It’s the middle of the night. I want to be deeply open about how I feel in general. There are things keeping me awake but others may not agree that they’re stupid things to be stressed over. I’m fully aware that I have to promote the blog to make it a success. There’s a side of me that also wants privacy. That is due to things that have happened in my past. I know that certain people don’t like me and will spread awful things around about me. I don’t want to be laughed at and treated as a joke either. I had someone laugh near me tonight after looking at me. Then they walked passed me on the way back to their car and said something as they passed me… however, I didn’t hear what she said because it wasn’t loud enough. I don’t know her. Although, people make judgments and gossip about others who are out there for whatever reason. I’m afraid that others will be nasty to me or laugh at me when I go out. I don’t want to be looked at as a freak. That affects me. I know that I want to be out there pushing for change… I just don’t like the judgements that were made about me in the past. I have to live with ignorant people referring to me as a stalker etc. I’m not any of those things. I made my mistakes due to my autism mixed with being young and naive. There’s going to be people that will always think of me as a weird freak. That hurts me. I’m not proud of my past. I can’t change anything so please don’t think of me in those ways. Certainly don’t snigger at me when I’m out and make comments when going passed me.

This happened to me today. Luckily I didn’t put my Instagram password in after clicking the link. The message is sent via people you’ve connected with previously. They’ve probably fallen for it because if they log into what they think is an Instagram site then it sends to all the people they’ve previously messaged. I didn’t do it but if someone genuinely thinks it’s been made for them by a friend then they may fall for this scam. If you’ve already fallen for it then any sensible person will change their password. That is something you must do if your accounts are hacked. I presume most people would automatically do so but I’m stating the obvious for those people who don’t change their passwords after falling for this kind of scam.