These are the issues that stop us independently earning money.

I have been watching many things about self employment. I’ve researched various things I could do to make extra money to move. Then I looked into the issues that other autistic people have had trying to get paid for tasks. The things I’ve found out hasn’t given me much confidence. People sometimes just won’t pay those of us that are openly autistic. Regardless of the standard of our work, as soon as customers have found out someone is autistic they’ve stated that the work isn’t good enough and therefore they want a refund etc. This shouldn’t be the case. What chance have people like myself even got in relation to work if that is how society is going to see our contributions? If people won’t buy things from us because of the prejudice we face in relation to people actually believing we have the skills beyond our autism. I want more than what I have. In order to do that I have to earn in some capacity. I won’t get the lifestyle I want just by being employed by someone. The only way that the lifestyle will be reachable is being self employed, running my own business etc. I also need to get back the confidence and drive required which I’ve lost after the things I’ve been through.

Chilled day. I haven’t slept at night for weeks.

Yes, I fell asleep again after waking up. I didn’t sleep again last night. I still got to my relatives for dinner on time and managed to tidy my flat so I did ok. I wish I was able to sleep at night because it’s stressful trying to get enough sleep during the first half of the day to have energy to do anything. I’ve literally tried everything to fix my sleep pattern but it seems ingrained deeply into me. I have the worse skin due to picking it and hormones (just started my monthly). I can’t say that I’m not worried about the prospect of moving. The council have finally stopped asking me for documents in relation to the application for housing. I’m hoping that I find out my priority band soon. I’m putting money aside but it’s going to be months before I have enough to cover the private sector fees. That is also limited when you claim housing benefits. I would have moved years ago if I’d had been less complicated. I have no choice now that the current landlord wants to sell. If it was that easy for me to get a job then I would. I just know that I couldn’t sustain employment due to my autism. I barely have the energy to do much now … let alone hold down a job. I’m not a lazy person. I do a lot despite not officially working. If I don’t officially work then no one gets let down if I’m having a day where I just can’t function.