I do regret getting into this scene.

I know that lots of younger people don’t believe us when we say that advocating for change is harder than it looks and takes over your entire life. I would give it all back if I could go back to being that 17 year old knowing what I knew now I’d not go near it. I wouldn’t try to expose the wrongs by authorities or get involved with pushing for change. It takes over your life. Your relationships are either extremely impacted or none existent. You are always on edge so sleep can be fleeting on a nightly (or daily) basis. There are a long list of people who do not like me due to my single minded focus on not deviating from the goal. I used to neurologically be able to handle it with no kick backs. However, as soon as I got to 30 odd, it’s knocked me flat on my back side. I can’t live the life I originally wanted because of obstacles created by those who I wronged with my sheer stubbornness. You may be absolutely ok with it all as a younger person but that will change as you get older. It’s important to make sure you protect your bubble throughout the campaigning so that you’ve got a protective bubble to return to if it happens to cause lasting damage.

This tiredness is ridiculous.

I’ve been completely knocked out the entire day. I feel like I’ve been drugged. I stayed in my pjs the whole day again. I can’t carry on like this … I had some entertaining dreams which made absolutely no sense but at least it was better than no dreams whatsoever. I woke up to the cats wanting something so I had to get up. Mister is quite vocal today. I know I’m annoying but regularly coming in my room to nag me doesn’t help matters. I know things are up in the air right now. I know he feels everything and he’s close to me. He follows me everywhere and sits next to me a lot. He’s a lot more attached to me than Mimi. She does sleep with me but is always off doing her own thing the majority of the day and night.