I managed to get up and out today.

I thought that I wasn’t going to be making it out today because I didn’t want to move when I woke up. I had a bath when I woke up and a bath this evening after I came back from a walk. I have put all clean sheets on my bed and cleaned/tidied the flat a bit. That’s impressive considering I didn’t get up until 2pm. I was out for over an hour on walk and did my shopping for a few bits on the way around. The food is on the thin side. I literally just managed to get the last carton of goats milk on the shelves at the local coop. There was no bread rolls that I normally buy so I decided to get wraps for a change. They’re probably better if weight loss is a goal if I’m totally honest. I feel so chubby at the moment which has been made worse by tiredness which prevented me from doing exercise for a few days. I haven’t overeaten so I’m sure it’s just bloat. Logically it should have reduced due to cutting out alcohol for at least 5 days. I didn’t even drink Pepsi max yesterday due to not going out and having none in the fridge.

I’ve never experienced this before.

I thought that after I’d slept for at least a few hours last night that this would make me feel better. That’s not happening. I’m still tired and don’t want to get up. I didn’t even have a bath yesterday. I’ve never been this bad even when I was going through the worse times of my life. I don’t understand why I’m not getting my motivation to just do every day life things at the moment. Seriously? This is beyond ridiculous. I thought that not doing barely anything yesterday would help me to function normally afterwards but it’s just as hard to fight the fatigue feeling today. I don’t even like the thought of leaving my home today. I’ve never been one to not go out. I’ve always been the type to want to at least be out for a few hours. The reluctance is like a brick wall today.

I’m not convinced that the UK governments new initiative for disabled people will do enough…

I feel mentally better for not even getting dressed today. I got up but didn’t bother changing out of pjs. I took it easy and didn’t do much. I needed this reset. Hopefully it won’t be raining tomorrow. It’s not supposed to be but our weather forecast isn’t always accurate. The cats are fed for the night so they won’t bug me until tomorrow morning. They probably won’t want to go out tonight as it’s still rather wet out there. I say that but occasionally they surprise me. I still have an ache at the top of my ankle. I really don’t want to go to the doctors. I feel stupid as I should be able to heal from a sprained ankle. I don’t want to waste their time. I may need anaemia tests again anyway due to how tired I’m constantly feeling. I presume my iron levels are on the low side when I get into this state. I don’t understand how though as I top myself up with vitamin tablets to prevent these types of deficiencies which make me exhausted.

Yes, I did hear about the governments initiate for disabled people. I’m doubtful that any consultation will bring proper changes. They do these consultations… but nothing is done about issues that are raised. They can change the laws however much they want in response to our concerns. That isn’t going to change the ingrained attitudes that have gone through each generation for an extremely long time. Private organisations don’t have to follow certain laws if they back their decisions with health and safety concerns. That’s something which won’t ever be easy to tackle. There is always far too much talk and not enough action to address concerns. As others have said, we need action in regards to accessibility issues quickly rather than having to wait until certain dates years in the future for things to be built or enacted. In a society where we are extremely advanced in some areas… only a quarter of train stations are accessible to wheelchair users. They’re sending billionaires up into space etc. Instead of paying to shoot themselves up into space these billionaires could be using their money to advance accessibility for disabled people. They’d still have money to enjoy themselves but the rest of it could be put into projects like train station access for wheelchair users. They could build social housing for those with learning disabilities, autistics, mental health issues etc who can’t work due to their circumstances. The list of what could be done with billionaires money is endless.