I am reluctantly awake today. I’m not dressed yet but got up to fed cats, take medication and tidy a few bits to make my kitchen look less like things were just chucked everywhere. I haven’t got dressed yet but that’s the next thing I’m trying to make myself do. I’m beyond exhausted. I couldn’t sleep again last night. The rain is just depressing so that’s adding to the reluctance to get out of bed. I woke up hot which wasn’t nice. I was cold before I fell asleep so put the electric blanket on but by the time I woke up I was sweating. I had a drink of water next to my bed so luckily I could have a drink when I woke up. I had the most random dreams that I can’t really remember but woke up feeling like they weren’t pleasant. Nightmares are common when you get too hot while asleep. I was touring a graveyard in part of it so it must have been dark. The people in it wasn’t dead though. One was a celebrities photo who I know isn’t dead in waking life. It was of one of the characters they played so maybe that was killed off. That’s the only detail I remember.
Weirdly, while I was speaking about dark stuff, a storm has just come out of no where with heavy rain and loud thunder. The cats have just both come into my room because they don’t like the thunder. I don’t particularly like it but I’m not as bad as when I was younger. The bangs were too loud. I just got used to them as an adult. I will always have sensitive hearing. I just learned to tolerate the loudness of certain things. It’s not masking, it’s adapting… there’s a huge difference. I’m tolerating being awake at the moment when my brain is just annoying me while awake. I just want silence from my thoughts and it won’t give me that today.