There are things that will stick in my head forever.

I always talk about having no shame about who you are and the past screw ups you’ve made. That’s easier said than done. I randomly wake up thinking of the unkind things that have been said to me. I know that I should have a thicker skin but I took things to heart easily when I was younger. It’s only recently I decided I was fed up of other peoples opinions and that I wasn’t going to take any notice of judgments made by others. Some of the comments that have been said to me in the past still affect me quite badly. They’ve shredded the little confidence I had actually managed to build after horrendous times in my life. I don’t think I will ever be the same person as before those experiences. I would just like to point out that most of those that judged me and said terrible things were older than me. I can hardly believe that they didn’t make the same mistakes as a younger person. We all mess up when we are socially finding ourselves. Falling in love is easy when you’re young because of being naive. You cannot see people for who they actually are … they could be completely awful but you just wouldn’t see it. I don’t have to justify anything to those that have called me awful things. I wish those things didn’t continue to fester in my mind still affecting me in the present day. In some cases it wasn’t just mean comments… I was totally ridiculed for being me.

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