I couldn’t get up today… made myself eventually.

I didn’t even go out the door of my flat yesterday. I slept quite late too. However, to be fair it’s not as bad as it sounds when I can’t sleep at night. I wish that I could be normal but after 30 odd years that’s just not going to happen. The fact that I got up today was an achievement in itself. I just feel like an empty shell when I’m awake so I prefer to sleep as much as possible. I had to throw out the bun bags full of used cat litter before they started to smell. They were only there since last night. They just didn’t get taken out at that point because I cleaned out the litter trays quite late. I wasn’t properly awake until later to take them out. Has anyone just stopped being able to use their brain to do anything academic? Mine was getting bad enough before we finished our last module but I can’t even create artistic things at the moment. I sometimes don’t even feel present. It’s weird to explain. I’m used to brain fog etc but this is completely on another level. It’s like it’s stuck on an off switch. I can’t even feel emotions. I’m also used to being numb but this is also another level.

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