I’m up and managed to go for a walk … that’s about all I have in me today. Coming up during the next week…

I woke up extremely hung over as I drank a lot last night. The fact that I was too tired to get up and drink water today didn’t help. I’ve gone for a walk to properly wake up. The heat has already hit me after just walking down the road. It’s too hot! Anyway, I just heard that something is coming on television next week that I thought I should pass on to my readers. There is a program on channel 4, Tuesday evening. 10pm, Torn Apart: Family Courts… uncovered. Apparently, the team behind the program have got this program together after two years of research. I was probably unknowingly part of this research as I was asked questions at various times about what happened to me. I have my story on the about me page of this blog so it’s out there anyway. I really don’t keep track of those kinds of things otherwise I’d never get any sleep.I would see it as there is something that needs to be done so I can’t sleep until it’s done. Some things in life just aren’t things that can be fixed instantly in one single day. That is something my brain really finds it difficult to accept. Friends of mine have told me I should write a book full of these types of stories within a few weeks and release it shortly after this program has aired. Those people aren’t writers … it takes months to write and produce a book. I also mentally can’t go there until I’m mentally repaired enough. I can feel myself getting emotionally wound up when I even try to put my own experience into book format. I could get lots of stories at short notice to put into a book due to running the fb page with lots of people who have been through the same system. The thing is, people aren’t responsive when you need them to be. There’s lots on that page but I can guarantee that if I ask for stories to be written into a book format there will only be a small percentage of responses.

I can’t even do today.

I spent the whole day in bed because I was fed up. I forgot to take my antidepressant and the cats had joined me sleeping so there was no need for me to get up. I don’t know what to wear in this heat. Nothing feels comfortable when it’s this sweaty. I like the warm summer weather but not when it gets to the point of boiling us. If I was living in America I’d have been so stressed at the heat. It’s bad enough here when there’s heatwaves. I should have got up to at least drink some water today after drinking alcohol last night. I don’t think that’s helping my reluctance to get out of bed today. I get exhausted after full days of having to interact with people. I don’t only physically fee it. I also get mentally drained which leads to brain fog etc. I was always a bit like this when I was going on daily to college etc. It just hits me like a brick nowadays.

We may as well just chill.

I got extremely drunk tonight. I feel terrible but I needed to de stress for the night. It’s been a long week. This country is opening up next week which is literally going to mean that we risk getting sick just by being out of our homes for even a short time. I’m vaccinated but that doesn’t make anyone immune from catching the virus. Double vaccinated people have died recently. I think we are genuinely doomed in regards to trying to avoid the virus. We just have to be careful, live as best as possible and take nothing for granted because we could be extinguished so easily. I know it seems careless but life is all about taking risks. We can’t avoid everything that might be harmful. That is why I no longer play it safe. I never used to drink regularly but after the last year it has become apparent that life is too short to not live to have fun etc.