Day: July 15, 2021

I would like to cover three topics that the main news has broadcast today. I’m putting them all in the same entry because my contribution isn’t going to be long enough for separate posts.

I shall start with climate change. The floods we are seeing in some countries, including our own (London flash floods earlier this week), are things we haven’t previously seen in our lives. Did anyone notice how different things seemed during our time in lockdown throughout the world last year? The smell of pollution actually left the air. Nature started becoming more visible. Now we’ve gone back to normal and it’s started reversing with vengeance. The break that we gave it last year has probably has made the effects ten times worse because it had detoxed a bit then we unleashed all the world chemicals back into the atmosphere when we came back out of lockdown. However, that has just proven what the climate activists had been saying shortly before all the virus situation kicked off.

The next part of the news was on about creatives like songwriters etc aren’t getting paid much when it comes to streaming services but the record companies are getting much more of a percentage. This is a major issue for those of us that create stuff like music, books etc. We get a tiny amount of money in comparison to agencies which represent us. The amount of work we have to produce to break even to just live without some form of top up benefit from the government in normal times let alone after the covid fallout. I don’t have the confidence to ever come fully off benefits due to the unstableness of the creative industry. I’m trained in am area where I either end up doing stuff for free or very little money. I’m not a huge fan of agencies / middle man type companies getting masses amounts of money when those of us below them actually do the work. It’s completely unfair. Yes, agencies get us work (when we manage to get properly established) but they merely make phone calls, hold meetings … they don’t have creative skills only marketing expertise.

I’m going to finish off with the child mental health system in this country. It’s always been the same. The groups of children being failed are also the same nowadays as they were when I was at school. I’m not surprises that the child in the news article had adhd/autism. I hear the same stories from parents of autistics and autistics themselves on a daily basis regarding the system being unsuitable to provide successful support for those on the spectrum. There’s a wide scale problem in this country. Most of us live in some form of mental crisis and unstable circumstances because our system doesn’t prevent them mentally deteriorating to that level of poor mental health or/ and poverty.

I can’t discuss the things I can do in full details. 1 I am seen as weird enough without discussing that side of me in detail. And, 2, it’s not fair if I disclose anything I see in a dream about someone else’s life. I do have things I’ve seen in dreams bugging me at the moment but I can’t discuss it with another human being and definitely can’t go to the person who I saw in my dream. It’s not only inappropriate within our social context but it’s also ethically wrong to disclose stuff to people unless you’re asked. That is an unwritten rule that those of us who read tarot etc have to do whether we like it or not. I have broken the rules when I was younger and proven that karma comes back to bite whoever does that kind of thing. It doesn’t matter if you do it because you care etc. That doesn’t come into it. Karma still says it’s wrong regardless of your reasons. The best thing I can possibly do in my situation is change my circumstances to disconnect myself from the situation enough and the stuff I already know will fade away in a few months. I’m making steps to do that. I just categorically have to confirm that even if it was burdening me enough to want to discuss it with another person. I simply cannot do that as it’s not an ethical way to use intuitive gifts.

I’ve done my part but got no reply from a flat I enquired about. I didn’t ring them because I wasn’t up but I sent an enquiry via the website in the middle of the night. I hope it went through because I did confirm my email etc. It’s unusual to not even get a reply saying it’s gone or something. I wouldn’t be surprised if it has got snapped up. It’s central location, street parking (you can’t have everything but being in the middle of town I wouldn’t have to take car out reguarly), not too expensive, 1 bedroom, ground floor (cats need that so they can go in and out of the windows like they’re used to doing), it has a bath (most of the cheaper ones only have showers), doctors surgery/pharmacy across the road. Best of all it doesn’t have stipulations such as no housing benefit and no pets. I don’t mind no smoking because I don’t smoke so it doesn’t affect me. I’m going to ring them tomorrow hopefully no one else has jumped on it too. I only found it because I was browsing in the middle of the night not expecting any new listings without let agreed on them within my intended price range. In other cases I’ve got a reply straight back from other places without even having to give my details because they know me. I am entering that national brain exhibition again as they’ve extended the deadline until September. I needed an entry pack.

I have sky high anxiety to the point where I’ve started picking the skin on my face. I know it’s bad but I can’t help it. I was up at a decent hour after just a few hours of sleep today. I should be knocked out by this time of the night. I feel really awful due to being tired but I can’t actually sleep. I feel like I’m wound up. I always feel a bit temperamental leading up to my monthly which also stops me sleeping. I can try everything to drop off but it just doesn’t work. I’ve stayed awake the whole night many times. I’m not even stressing… this is me fairly calm. I watched grease (I’m one of the few people who have never watched the film previously) to try to put myself to sleep. I know the songs but never seen the film. I think I was probably the only one of my generation and older who hadn’t seen it. Others always seemed to know the film. I can’t continue not sleeping. I want a normal life. I can’t keep sleeping during the day. I feel worse for that pattern. If I don’t get up during the day then important things won’t get sorted. If I don’t get things sorted to try to move by the deadline of the end of my tenancy I’m going to be in a huge mess. I’m naturally disorganised as it is without my sleep impacting plans.