I’m fed up of professionals denying the experiences of people who have shared it online after being let down by the system. Trying to say that it’s not correct, fake news etc. I don’t think these people realise that these stories are actually true. Before what happened to me with my son’s adoption; I didn’t believe the stories that were being told to me. I thought it was over the top that people were telling me to leave the country etc. I wish I’d believed them because I would have been able to escape then. I don’t know what I would have done abroad but it would have been better than losing my son to the system here. It may sound far fetched but these things are actually going on behind closed doors. The authorities don’t want people’s stories to be believed because it makes people not want to work with them. I know for a fact that there are underground ‘secret’ groups of people sneaking pregnant mothers out of this country. Those that have been in the system as children think this is the best option to take due to the system currently being stacked against them. I’m not involved I just know that it is happening. Even if I did know a lot of details there would be no way that I would disclose them online. I could get in huge trouble for that. We don’t use technology to communicate certain information due to the potential for it to be hacked by the authorities. These things aren’t in the mainstream media bed cause there are legalities that might get them sued. Don’t invalidate what you see on the internet all the time because some of it is true.
I’m too tired to even be awake today. I just don’t see the point anymore. Living is just an endless stream of disappointment. I am so fed up with all the negative crap. I don’t want to have to move all my stuff to somewhere else next year. It’s just effort that I have no energy to do. I have no choice but even the thought is making me feel exhausted. There’s so much to do and stay on top of that even thinking what I have to do makes me tired. I’m not lazy. I don’t physically or mentally have the energy. I feel it badly when I do try to push myself. I am seriously fighting with my own mind at the moment. I know I need to do stuff but my mind is fighting to sleep constantly. I’m aways wanting to go back to sleep even when I’m up doing things.