Well that was a long night to end up losing.

I’m disappointed but I kind of had the feeling we weren’t going to quite do it. I pulled these cards (see below) before the game started. Reversed aces are never a great sign. The obstacles card came up as balanced which kind of does look like it was predicting a draw in regards to goals. The outcome card could mean anything as it points to teamwork. The hopes and feelings card was reversed devil but that is not a major part of this reading. It would have been so refreshing to actually be winners as a country for once. We tried hard. Both teams gave it their all which is why it lasted so long.

Someone needs to say this… so I’m going to be the one.

I’m making this statement because I’ve heard the same thing again and again by people who work for social services (especially children’s services). These plans that they are so insistent that help families. The same plan format doesn’t work for all types of families. The one we got put on actually went completely against the pre birth psychological report recommendations which were done to say what would or wouldn’t work with my autism. There is absolutely no point in having these plans carried out if they’re just going to have a default plan for all without taking into account recommendations for success. The one that they put us on pre birth while I was waiting for my son to be born made me ill with the stress towards the end of my pregnancy. I ended up having to visit the hospital to check blood pressure for the last fortnight because it kept shooting up. It got ten times worse when he was born. I wasn’t allowed on my own with my son until they’d carried out all their work (could take months). It wasn’t practical for them to ask me to live at my mums, we are bad enough with the ability to stand each other without a crying baby in the mix. She didn’t like the crying more than me. The fact that I had never had a baby before so I had no idea what I was doing also got held against me. I wasn’t given the space to learn adjustments. It was merely thrust as me while I was having to please an audience. You don’t need that stress when you’ve just had a baby. The pre birth plan told them not to do that kind of plan. Under normal circumstances I would be able to perform like a circus seal for approval when needed but I was not myself after giving birth to my son.

I didn’t even want to get up today.

I told my mum that I wasn’t going to hers today and got guilt tripped. The fact that I feel like complete crap is nothing personal. I’m only on a walk to wake up. I’ve got so much housework to do when I get home. It’s full of bits and dust that need getting up with vacuum cleaner. I will just get worse allergies if I don’t do it. Don’t even get me started on the state of my hair. That’s a mess so I’ve tied it up in a pony tail. I have alcohol for the game tonight but half of me is thinking we probably won’t be celebrating. We just aren’t they lucky as a country nowadays. I wasn’t around in 66 but I hear it definitely was completely different from now. Other countries still have that sense of community whereas we just don’t have it anymore. We would rather say screw you toward each other than be helpful to someone else to improve their circumstances. Apparently, although I weren’t born so I can’t confirm, that is how England used to be back in 66. We need a closer community thing going on to be more successful in all aspects of this country. Instead, we would rather block and ignore others rather than fix anything here. This has become an English culture. This has also been encouraged by the English authorities and in case that conditioned attitude isn’t going to help us in such competitions that are happening today.

Whether football ‘comes home’ or not tomorrow… it’s probably going to ‘kick off’.

I’ve looked at both England’s record and Italy’s. I think we have both got an equal chance of winning. The problem is that either result is probably going to cause a look of drunken crazy antics. If we do happen to win then the streets are most likely going to be full of drunken people celebrating. I will be driving back from my relatives tomorrow after the match finishes. I hope no drunk people start walking on the road etc. They walk in front of cars yet it is still the drivers fault. In the event that we lose it’s probably still going to kick off. Football fans don’t like their team losing. Full grown men turn into stroppy toddlers. Fights, domestic violence and antisocial behaviour is probably going to occur. It’s like when there is competitions, such as football, people seem to get overly wrapped up in stupidity and completely antisocial behaviour. People have a few drinks and think they can either do stupid things without getting hurt or square up to someone else which leads to fights etc. They are the minority but there is enough to cause trouble and chaos. I think it’s most likely going to kick off either way whether we win or lose. There’s going to be no happy medium there.