Making money online isn’t as easy as people make it seem.

This generation is busy making money via TikTok and previously YouTube. There is a mass of people saying that you can definitely make money online easy. That isn’t strictly true. It’s harder than those that have been successful tell others. Then there is onlyfans which I don’t know enough to comment on that platform. You need to get a huge following before you can even plan to try to make money. I keep getting approached for collaborations when I post photos of the cats etc on Instagram but none of that is paid opportunities. I have only been on TikTok since early this year and only nearly have 500 followers. On Instagram and Twitter I have just over 2000 followers. I’ve been on both Instagram and Twitter for quite a few years. I’ve only just started getting more followers recently after learning how to market the blog etc. I can write okay enough to earn but you have to be extremely lucky to write a book that actually either sells self published or gets traditionally published. I did successfully self publish a small autobiography about being a female autistic when I was in my early 20s. There is much more competition nowadays since more people aren’t going down the traditional publishing route. There’s so many more people choosing to self publish which adds to the competition. You have to have the marketing / selling skills.

I can see that I haven’t done much exercise for a few days.

I can see my belly fat getting bigger after not exercising for a few days. It’s gone down a bit but I can see I’m being lazy. I drank way too much fluid (not alcoholic) which doesn’t help. I was thirsty after spending most of the day in bed. I made myself book my smear test because if the bloating is related to something going a bit wrong in that department then it could be a simple fix. Well, I’m hoping that is the case as the waiting lists for the NHS are ridiculously long at the moment due to covid delays. That is the issue, the bloat isn’t something I can exercise off because it’s lower abs. That is why I’m not sure if it’s health related or actual fat.

I sleep for a few hours and wake up to a full phone.

I got a few hours sleep after another whole night of no sleep. I woke up to texts and phone calls telling me that the flat is now being managed by the estate agent who came to take photos for sale. I’ve felt like I’m not really a person today. It may just be my tiredness and I missed my antidepressant which doesn’t help. Anyway, at least I no longer have to feel difficult dealing with people who have said I’m basically a threat or whatever. That really hurt me. That means they have no understanding fir my disability whatsoever otherwise they wouldn’t see it that way. I feel rejected quite a lot because my bpd side tries to tell me no one likes an evil person. I try not to believe I’m evil but it is hard when I blame myself for everything in the past. Others had a part to play but in my mind I’m constantly telling myself that I’m the issue and ruin things every time. The fact that when I’m annoyed I don’t hold back on anything that others probably wouldn’t mention is also something that doesn’t help.

I need to find out how to register mister and Mimi as official emotional support animals because that means I have a stronger argument if I move to a place that isn’t officially allowing pets. It’s harder for emotional support animals to be discriminated against. They technically do help me with my autism, so it wouldn’t be inaccurate. I have Mimi sat next to my head as I’m typing this entry. She was sleeping next to my head when I was sleeping.

Another night of no sleep.

I probably have caused myself not to sleep all night because I slept most of the day yesterday. I couldn’t sleep last night though so I ended up just crashing out during the day. I thought I’d let my cat out at half 4 this morning. I obviously didn’t see him go but I assumed he did when I went to the bathroom. I find him sprawled out asleep on the sofa when I got up fo go toilet this morning. He obviously has more sense than I give him credit. He went out in the rain earlier in the evening so I assumed he just wanted to be outside again.

I’m not doing that great at the moment so actually wanting to be up during the day is difficult. I didn’t even get dressed yesterday. I just changed my pyjamas from one set to another. I have an achy ankle again as the injury hurts when I don’t use it enough. I barely used it at all yesterday. I don’t think I will be going for a walk today if this rain doesn’t stop. It kicks off when I drive at the moment. I think it’s the pushing my foot down to change gear which is bugging my ankle joint which hasn’t quite healed yet. On another positive note, the car that kept passing me when I was out walking has not done it since I posted half the registration number on here a few days ago. I didn’t want to get anyone into trouble but it’s obviously done the trick in regard to warning him off if he was up to no good.

TikTok brings people together who think they’re alone.

I was watching TikTok earlier. There was an empath on there saying it’s common for us to get ghosted (blocked or blanked by others). I’m glad that it’s a common occurrence as I know I’m not the only one now. Do others think we enjoy seeing / sensing stuff about others that is none of our business? I don’t like dreaming things before they happen. I’d rather be none the wiser regarding future events like non empathic people. That’s why I’ve learned to numb myself so that I get a break. I live in a small area, if I’m not picking something up, I’m hearing random gossip about others. At least I ask whether that gossip is true rather than letting people talk behind others backs without realising. Some of the things aren’t very nice and quite damaging so it’s only right someone gives them a heads up. I’ve had it done to me and wish others would let me know rather than being totally unaware.