I’m not allowed to be me!

I am fed up of being punished for being who I am. The way society has been conditioned to see what is in within normal lines aren’t correct. Normal is so many different things! Due to my past I’m not going to rush into any situation too fast. I’m too used to being single on my own with my routine as well. We have a society that says label someone with a mental illness or autism … whatever… if they aren’t what society has defined as normal. I’ve completely had it with how I’m supposed to be in order to be left in peace to live my life! Who is anyone to say that my feelings aren’t valid? I don’t have to be honest about my life but I do that here. I have explained all my life experiences on the about em page. I shouldn’t have to put up with judgments for trying to share in order to change how society understands difference! I’ve lost enough due to being different. I’m sure as hell not going to sit back and willingly allow anyone to take anymore from me. That includes taking my identity by telling me that who I am is wrong. It’s only wrong due to the conditioning of norms placed on people within society. That doesn’t make it actually wrong. I have been made to hate myself by mental health services and other parts of society. The so called help services have left me with more hatred towards who I am as a person. I started to believe that I was evil at one point…. Like I was the actual devil at my worse. I was a normal girl with undiagnosed autism before I ended up damaged by the help system. It’s no wonder that people commit suicide at the rate that they do. We have conditioned them to feel such utter hatred and guilt toward themselves that it’s too much. If I’m not allowed to be myself then maybe I’d be better off dead. It’s better than living a life where I just don’t fit unless I change every single part of how I think!