Well, the proper sleep thing didn’t last.

I went to bed early because I was tired. I did fall asleep straight away but after a few hours I woke up. I can’t sleep again now. I just think too much at night. I don’t feel like I’m doing enough to increase understanding and change attitudes towards autism / mental health. I don’t feel like anyone truly listens to me. I know we are all wrapped up in our own lives. I just wish that I could inspire a new way of thinking just using aspects of me that people think are different. I hate changes and they keep happening. I know that it’s life. Nothing stays the same. I get unsettled by the thought of changes. I’m not as bad with change as some autistic people. I still do get affected by it though. I want to live a predictable life where things just tick over the same. Unfortunately, especially in my life, that has never been possible. The term chaotic is how I would describe my teens and twenties. I wanted to settle but I wasn’t able to do so in various places I lived. That became part of me. I now find it hard to settle. I never have a quiet mind. It’s always thinking, picking stuff up or dreaming when I’m asleep. I just sometimes wish it would just all shut up. I don’t want to have dreams etc. I just want peace within my mind sometimes. I need that break. Autism is a slight issue in comparison to everything else.