I wish I wasn’t shy.

I know that people don’t think I’m shy. I’m not online but that doesn’t help in every day life. There are people who have bullied me in various ways during my life who I should have basically had it out with so that they couldn’t influence others. I seem bad because I didn’t have it out with them and put things straight. I also have no confidence when it comes to speaking to people. I always want to get away from conversations. I’m always afraid because of things that have happened in my life. I would love to go up to certain people (some maybe a bad idea) and just say I’m interested do you want to give things a go? In some cases it would be seen as totally inappropriate but the worse they could do is laugh at me and say no. You never know until you take the opportunity to ask. Then at least you know that you’ve tried to make an effort to start a relationship. I admit that I do fancy a few people that is wholly inappropriate. I’m sure if they ever saw me admit that they’d be horrified. I’m doubtful that certain people I’ve known in my life read the blog. I know I’m too young for a few people that I’ve found attractive. That isn’t a problem for me but it may be an issue for the person who is older. I’m at least starting to look less like a kid nowadays. The age gaps probably wouldn’t be so glaringly obvious now that I’m nearly mid 30s. There is also no reason why I cannot go there now in many cases.