I’m not digging my heels in to be difficult.

I’ve wanted to move for a long time. It’s not that I don’t want to move but I don’t want to stay here. I never wanted to come back to this area in the first place. The discussion that I had with family told me that I was staying in this area. I don’t want all the hassle of the changes you have to make when you move just to stay in an area I never likes even as a child. I’d rather save up to make a leap from one area to another which my circumstances don’t allow at this point. I didn’t have a choice where I moved when I was expecting my son. I do now. I’m not some youngster that others can boss around any longer. I have a choice. I’ve made my choice in reality but family will say it’s not possible. I know it’s difficult but I’ve been told where I can and can’t live since the age of 17 and I’ve had enough by my mid 30s. I have virtually escaped the abusive support system in the area where I grew up. The last step is moving away from that all together. If I just move into another place in the same area I’m not doing that step which is the next one that needs to be done. I’m only digging my heels in because I have made my decision despite what my family and others may think.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

2 thoughts on “I’m not digging my heels in to be difficult.”

  1. You need to be careful you don’t make yourself what is called voluntarily homeless. Many years ago I lost my home. Even though my wife had changed the locks whilst I was out, the Local Authority claimed I was voluntarily homeless, and initially refused to help me. If I had not been in a wheelchair and very disabled, I would probably have been sleeping on the streets. I am very lucky I have a house to live in. You do not need to end up sleeping on the streets.

    There are many homeless people everywhere. I live in Hartlepool, and it is as poor as people think it is. However, there is still a huge waiting list for people who want houses; that is a huge waiting list of people wanting to live in Hartlepool. I am sure it is the same everywhere.

    We are all emotional beings and trying to ignore emotion is very difficult with any decision made. In any case though, if there is real possibility of risk or harm, it is important to consider the risks involved. Your safety will matter to more people than you think it does.

    I’m not even sure you read comments, but nevertheless, I hope you stay safe.


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