Long day!

I have had the most stressful day! I invited my mother over to help me tidy the mess that has accumulated in my flat. I got accused of never doing any housework. That isn’t true. I do the housework just never to her standards. I do admit that since I injured my ankle I have half done things until I was in pain and then left it. I quit drinking alcohol because that also stopped me doing things. I’m going to have one to chill out tonight because today has been an ordeal. It looks a lot better but my self confidence has taken a massive denting from things my mother said. Apparently I should have been honest with the landlord why I didn’t want them in and not proceed to go into mood saying things that has now ended my tenancy in April. I’m sorry but that is my nature. I’m so used to fighting my corner that I over fight. I have a second nature within me there has always fought ignorance etc. That makes me good at impact to get changes but not in my personal life. I never let my guard down where I grew up due to what I went through. It’s too late to apologise and explain. Sometimes people are just needing an excuse to get rid of you and their assets. This is the life of those of us with mental illness and autism. We don’t settle either through the result of trauma by a messed up society or misunderstandings. I have asked no one to get at each other. It’s the way that it is and I’m quite capable of fighting my own battles.

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