Today has been a struggle. As far as my long term circumstances are concerned, technically I’m screwed.

I managed to sort out my laptop issues which was probably the only positive thing that has happened today so far. I woke up needing to literally have a bath because my monthly was that bad. There was no way that I could have got all that mess off of me without getting in the bath. Then there was the load of clothes and underwear that has been messed. I still have a load to put on. The current load hasn’t completed it’s washing/spinning cycle yet. I took my medication which seems to have helped a little bit. It isn’t as bad as it can possibly get which is one good thing. It has been a lot worse at times in the past. I went for a long walk yesterday evening when it finally stopped raining. I felt better for that until I got the text about losing my home at the end of the current contract. Ironically, I slept okay. Subconsciously, I was probably wanting a way out. The problem is that I cannot find anywhere decent easily. It took me ages to find this place when I moved last time. Housing benefit is limited choice. I would also have to change from ESA to Universal Credit due to change in circumstances. They’re phasing everyone onto Universal Credit if those on ESA change their circumstances (i.e address). That new benefit is an absolute disaster. Plus, the rents have gone up so much that housing benefit will not cover anywhere new. The estate agent managing this property from now on will probably put the rent up £100. I can’t afford that either. I had a good deal and I blew it by being honest. Why do I always do that? Why can’t I just be fake like everyone else? And, why does having a disability end up forcing people into a corner of poverty? That’s all that is going to happen if I move and change any of my circumstances.