Being broken and in need of a friend is not wrong.

I have gone through the things I’ve done either accidentally or purposefully. I have come to the conclusion that it isn’t wrong to feel broken and needing a friend. I will not be made to feel bad about reaching out for friends. I am sure that is all that I’ve ever done. I’m just never worthy enough to be someone else’s friend. I’m never good enough. I never can possibly be good enough however hard I may try. I’m too naturally defective, despite my disability being mostly hidden, to ever possibly be considered a friend. Instead, I’m just seen as a nuisance for even suggesting such an arrangement. I’m then punished by being told to leave the place I call home on this occasion. On previous occasions, I got chucked out of many places, reported to the police and locked up during my life. All for what? Just wanting a friend. A simple thing that most people who aren’t autistic take for granted. Is that really fair? No. Can others justify it? Yes, unfortunately the way others see things can justify their decisions. I never said anything bad on most occasions unless I was in meltdown mode. I’m fed up of the crap that I’m subjected to for just wanting a friend. This is my statement to the world. I’m probably not going to be heard but it’s still out there. Other autistic people may share this post if they feel the same way. I don’t mind them sharing the link to this post. This is truly how I feel… how I’ve always felt growing up… and probably how I will always feel about certain things.