I m already in bed despite getting up later. I just don’t like even being awake today. I’m hoping that I wake up in a better mood tomorrow. I’m trying not to feel bad about being depressed. It’s hard though. I know it isn’t a choice but I feel responsible for not being able to stop feeling that way. I don’t feel like doing anything. I had to push myself to go out to get petrol and a few bits from the supermarket today. Hand gel is making parts of my hands extremely sore. I just can’t right now. I’ve never felt this way even at my worse times so far. I have honestly been avoiding a full on breakdown for quite a long time. I don’t know how I would come back from one. The services for mental health aren’t great around here. I can only get around one by self help.