Depression is quite bad today :(

I woke up so depressed. It comes out of no where. I have no energy and have just wanted to sleep most of today. I found out that my TMA for degree module has to be in on Thursday. I have managed to get an extension for a week. I just don’t want to do anything which involves thinking right now, my brain just refuses to function when it comes to academic work. I don’t particularly enjoy studying the subject which doesn’t help. I know that I have to get this degree so that I have some power to change things. I could do stuff without a degree but it’s better if I’ve learnt how to do things technically.

Law is a subject that doesn’t help depression. It’s dull, quite boring most of the time and the complexity hurts my brain just thinking about all the specifics. I feel like giving up already on level 1. I’m told that it gets better as you progress through the modules but if they get too hard it will just feel much more stressful. Some people aren’t cut out for certain subjects. This particular subject would suit a naturally dull and boring person. I don’t think I’m naturally that sort of person. I get bored easily and tend to walk away from tasks which are monotonous. I can’t even watch programmes on Netflix or catch up without skipping though scenes that are too long once you know the storyline. I’m okay with live tv only because I’m normally doing other things like on my phone etc. I have become extremely ADHD like during this pandemic lockdown period. I get nothing done but never stop… it can be quite irritating.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

3 thoughts on “Depression is quite bad today :(”

  1. Finding it tedious probably makes you a better person! And you may actually have ADHD. But it’s like autism in that it’s not all bad; there are pros and cons, such as the focus and determination to see things through. Even if it is frustrating and/or mind-numbingly dull.


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