I just can’t sleep. And stuff just happens at the worse possible times.

I just can’t settle tonight. I was watching TikTok for a while. I nearly dropped off and ended up with my phone nearly on my face. I then woke up again because I needed the toilet (never drink a whole glass of water before going to bed). I got up to get another glass of water in case I wake up thirsty and if I don’t it’s there to take my medication in the morning.

The washing machine decided to stop working again earlier. It has done this a few times but I think it’s actually properly given up for good this time. I’ve managed to get it working previously by leaving the switches off for the night. I just tried it while I was up and it’s still refusing to work. The motor starts but the spinner won’t go round. It hasn’t been off long but I thought I’d see if it worked yet. I will try it later tomorrow which will be the equivalent hours of a whole night. I’m hoping that it’s just throwing a wobbly again. I don’t want the hassle of replacing it. Yes it’s eight years old but surely it can last a few more years. Apparently washing machines are only made to last 5 years nowadays. That may be about right because mine started throwing up errors on and off about a year ago. I use it a lot. I have a rotating schedule of clothes so my outfits always have to be ready to be worn quite quickly. I have got a little more obsessive with my clothes being washed a few times a week since we entered the pandemic. I have a bath every single day so I’m doubtful that any virus would survive that strict regime. I probably have worn my washing machine out by using it multiple times a week. At least no one can say I’m not clean. I hate feeling dirty or my clothes smelling of stale body odour. I have the money to buy another one. I’m just hoping that I don’t have to get a new one at this time.

I’m tired but I can’t sleep. How does that even work? Insomnia is a form of torture. I know I’m not the only person laying awake. I still feel alone laying here unable to sleep despite knowing there’s lots of insomniacs out there. I had a weird dream when I fell asleep today during the day. I can’t even remember the details. I woke up knowing it was weird in some way. I forgot the details after I got on with my day. I wish that my dreams were straight forward and not mind bending for once. Whether I’m on my medication or not, drink alcohol or not …I still have the same kind of dreams. I don’t recommend that you miss medication, I have done it by accident. I don’t even have to be stressed for my dreams to be weird. I have an overactive mind… maybe that’s why my dreams are wild.

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