I may act like I’m completely chilled regarding having the vaccine this week but I fear the side effects too. I have allergies that I experienced with various medications as a child. I have had dodgy skin that gets scabby every time I use a chemical that it reacts to and I bloat up easily when I eat certain things. I’m writing everything down that is on my summary allergy list in my online go account. I just don’t outwardly show my nerves. Needles don’t bother me as I had a massive one in my arm as a child. I want to get it over with so that I know if I’m going to react adversely. It’s the same when I go head to head with a bully or something. I don’t act like I’m afraid. I won’t allow them to see that I’m intimidated by how they act or what they say whatsoever.
I won’t take other peoples crap in general after how I was treated as a youngster. That is how it’s left me and maybe I’m always too much on the defensive at times. I always get things sorted being that way so it’s not all bad. Let me give you a little advice. Assume that everyone is going to do something awful towards you… people are naturally selfish regarding if they are claiming that they like doing selfless acts for others. Most of the time they only do things for those that they actually like… screw the rest of you. If you’re seen as defective in any way then it’s unlikely that anyone will like you enough to not screw your over given the opportunity. I gave too many people the opportunity to screw me over in the past. I could do with the person I screwed over in my life because they have a law degree and I’m struggling with my module at just level 1 part. She was good at what she did even if her qualities as a person were somewhat questionable. That’s life and I’m not even talking in bitterness. We only think of each h other nowadays because I feel guilty and she is apparently still quite angry about the things I did back then. We will never be talking again so that she can help me as the law modules get harder.
Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert Blog 