I don’t feel any better for confessing to my awful actions back a few years ago. It doesn’t matter if I’m a better person nowadays. I was a shit for way too many years. I just always wanted to fight the world and everyone who crossed me. It makes me feel sick. I don’t deserve anything good despite that karma came back on me. I’m evil to the core. That is my soul. I was born evil. It seemed to be my natural instinct. There are times in my life when I wanted to make people suffer. Especially when I was young. It’s like I drew pleasure from revenge. I threw sand in my best friends eyes when we were quite small. I never thought much of that incident but that was the beginning. I think I was mad at her for moving area so that she wouldn’t be at the same school. She doesn’t remember it being for a reason though because we were both quite young. We never kept in touch because they were in the year above me at a different school. They had a new group of friends. I did for a while at school. I’m not besties with any of them but I have them on social networks. I tended not to be close buddies with anyone due to my autism making me distant and wanting my own space a lot.