I have felt like this for a few days. I feel guilty that the virus hasn’t caused my death. I know that it is morbid but I think of all those that passed away who had family and were involved in important things. I’m still alive and don’t have a family or important job/role in society. It’s not fair. I therefore feel guilty for surviving (so far) this pandemic when they weren’t spared. It’s not over yet and I shouldn’t tempt fate by saying I’ve survived it. Life has a way of biting me in the behind when I least expect it.
I just feel really guilty that so many people have lost their lives. Most of them were more than I could ever hope to be in life. Jonny doesn’t even know I exist due to being adopted. I wouldn’t be missed if the virus took me down. I don’t have a partner who relies on me. The cats would get a home quite quickly because so many people have fallen in love with their photos/videos. I don’t like feeling guilty for being alive but right now reality is creating that way of thinking.