I’m already up and out … yes I’m surprised too.

I barely slept last night. I kept waking up because I knew that I had to be up at an earlier hour this morning. I’ve done my earlier plans, now I’m on a walk after picking up my medication. It’s weird being out during the day light hours. I’ve not seen daylight outside for at least a few days. I’ve been up but inside. I would just like to say something about a thing that is irritating me at the moment. The male attention that I’m getting online is really getting too much. I am used to messages via social networks. I’m pleasant to them but tell them categorically I’m not interested. Then some guy from India somehow got hold of my mobile number and started WhatsApping me. That is definitely crossing my boundaries. I don’t like using that app anyway but I never gave him my number to contact me on there. I need to be honest here. I don’t know if it’s my autism side or just who I am as a person. I’m not someone who can be in a relationship. I’m unable to commit to anything or anyone without ruining it. I subconsciously do things to ruin it without being able to stop myself. I can never be present in a relationship. Emotionally I will always be elsewhere. You’re just wasting my time and yours.

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