I act like I’m coping just fine. I’m verging on the very edge of becoming alcohol dependent. I think that I may be causing myself damage at this point. I feel extremely sick tonight. It’s like a hangover but ten times worse. I have a splitting headache. The itchiness of my skin is driving me crazy. I had yellow tinge to my skin earlier and went extremely bloated. I am drinking water to try to get rid of the headache feeling. I’ve pushed myself to the absolute limits with painkiller abuse previously. I was bound to start feeling the effects on my organs one day. I’ve constantly pushed my luck on multiple occasions. I hide my problems. I can’t any longer otherwise they’re probably going to kill me.