Okay, I thought things couldn’t get any crazier but then the ‘anti-woke’ groups start evolving. I consider myself woke because I’m considering and accepting of all kinds of differences when it comes to people and issues in general. I think that those announcing their anti woke agenda are mixing politics with the tolerance of being woke. There’s a fine line between the two. Political views are very individual. Acceptance of people in general is quite opposite. The two should never mix because it ends up in needless arguments which makes us more divided. The lockdown pandemic situation has definitely brought a lot of insanity. I knew about people thinking that those ‘woke’ individuals can be a little on the extreme side. I walk in circles where difference causes opinions that are at opposite ends of the spectrum (not autism related). I had no idea that those with those views had collectively formed an anti woke movement. I learn something new every day.

I’m not ok. I hide my pain with alcohol every single day.

I act like I’m coping just fine. I’m verging on the very edge of becoming alcohol dependent. I think that I may be causing myself damage at this point. I feel extremely sick tonight. It’s like a hangover but ten times worse. I have a splitting headache. The itchiness of my skin is driving me crazy. I had yellow tinge to my skin earlier and went extremely bloated. I am drinking water to try to get rid of the headache feeling. I’ve pushed myself to the absolute limits with painkiller abuse previously. I was bound to start feeling the effects on my organs one day. I’ve constantly pushed my luck on multiple occasions. I hide my problems. I can’t any longer otherwise they’re probably going to kill me.