I love the weekend!

I’m chilling out for the whole day! I do not intent to be sober by this evening. I slept okay last night but got woken up by a nightmare and then the cat came to ask for food. I couldn’t get back to sleep. I have a few things to do but they don’t require me to be sober. Hopefully I don’t drop the toilet seat on my hand again. I haven’t got a sore hand now so it was most likely just bruised rather than broken. I like my life this way. I’m not bothering anyone else. As I said before, I’m not the person I used to be. I like to keep myself to myself and only communicate with others when needed. I like people but I have no desire to be involved in anyone else’s business. We’ve all got our own problems. I have enough with my dreams (well mostly verging on nightmares), the cats (not just my own as one of the other local cats keep meowing at my window at a stupid hour of the night). I have to numb myself from the craziness sometimes. I can’t connect with others as I get more dreams about things that aren’t any of my business. I’d rather not know some of the things I see in my dreams. If I dream about someone it’s so difficult to actually face them in life when I’m awake. The gifts that I have (I don’t see them that way) have been ten times worse since the pandemic started. I just need a break. I can’t turn off how I’m naturally attuned to the energies surrounding us but I can numb myself with chemicals such as alcohol. I can’t change what is happening to any of us. The trauma I have from my past gives me nightmares anyway.

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