Hormonal …. stressed!

I’m totally heading towards that time of the month. I literally feel wound up and bloated. I’m a few days from starting that damn thing according to my phones cycle tracker. I probably have monthly pains but I can’t feel any pain when I’ve had a drink. I feel a bit sick though because I drank a bit too much. I’m on my 8th little bottle of vodka mixed stuff. I wanted to finish them tonight so that I can get myself off them for a few days. I won’t have it in the flat when I’m trying to cut down. I do like feeling drunk but I don’t get things done properly. I avoid stuff by falling asleep and then that messes up my sleep pattern. I managed to obtain an extension to the TMA assignment for a few extra weeks. They can authorise up to 21 days without asking the upper management of the open university. In all fairness until my carpet is laid and the place is sorted I will be working in a disorganised mess. The carpet should be laid by the end of this week because I actually found someone to fit it. I must admit that drinking hasn’t helped my study progress. I’m up to date but just not started the assignment yet. I don’t get it. I never used to enjoy drinking alcohol. I’ve changed as a person so much. I feel like I would be practically a stranger to myself if me from five years ago could meet me now. It’s not all positive changes. I’m sure I would be mortified at the boring oldie I have turned into. I’m not even middle aged yet. I hear it’s all down hill from 35. I have two years to go before middle age starts creeping towards me at lightening speed. I don’t have many years left to have any more children. As far as relationship terms I’m also passed my best. I was always destined to end up a spinster surrounded by cats. I felt that from a young age. I already have more conversations with random animals than humans. I like animals more than humans because as a species we are a huge disappointment. I could ramble on all night but I need to sleep now.