I don’t sleep well anyway… somehow tonight was so much worse than normal. I had a few alcoholic drinks to chill before I went to bed. I ended up with crippling stomach ache due to built up gas. It was so painful. I eventually fell asleep after the pain had dulled a little. I woke up an hour later so if was barely a proper sleep. Then my cats decided that they were going to have a loud disagreement. I had to intervene because it got a bit vicious. I told them off and hissed. It works because technically you’re talking cat and in the tone that they know means stop. They are now sitting in different parts of my bedroom looking like they’re sulking. Honestly, pets can be like children at times. They’ve lived with each other from day one. They do tolerate each other most of the time. Then occasionally they have a massive bust up over whatever that was over. I feel like crap due to lack of sleep. I hate what is happening out there right now. I just feel so tired of the whole pandemic. Then I start worrying if I’m going to be one of the ones that catch it and dies.
I’m not scared but I just long for the whole thing to be over. We are technically in a worse position than we were at the start of the first lockdown. We have a vaccine but no actual progress. Life is far from being normal. It’s showing no signs of going back to anything that resembles normality. I then realise that I never lived life to the full. I never went on holidays, did fun things etc. If things don’t return to normal then I won’t get to do any of those things. I could have done them all but until this happened I didn’t realise I had missed out. If I am unlucky enough to catch it and get the worse effects then I may die without doing all the things I haven’t experienced yet. I’m wanting a change of scenery. We have been stuck in our own localities for nearly a year. I want to go abroad or something just to unwind from the feeling of being mentally trapped in one place. I’m stockpiling money to go towards a flight somewhere after this is finally all over.
Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert Blog 
6 responses to “Very disturbed nights sleep.”
I have had similar ongoing issues with sleep when under stress. My doctor prescribed Melatonin (Circadin) and they worked extremely well without side effects (for me).
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I used to be able to get sleeping lab let’s from the doctor but now they’re seen as addictive so refuse to prescribe them die anyone.
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I understand Circadin is considered safe in that respect. It’s probably worth checking with your doctor because I too am autistic with (I think) PDA* as well and (not) sleep(ing) at night was a Big issue and this medication was extremely effective. Incidentally, I was also given Temazepam beforehand which definitely is (considered) addictive and make one’s GP nervous if you seem to need to take it all the time … Circadin seems to be regarded as very safe in all respects. Circadin apparently fixes Melatonin levels, which are normally regulated by sunlight, I imagine this is a potential problem in the middle of an English winter, – particularly if you find yourself awake at night and sleeping by day; – a vicious circle … Just a suggestion because it worked so well for me.
*Never knew about this until a couple of months ago. It seems to fill in some crucial gaps in my original diagnosis.
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I need to do something because I can’t study in this state.
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Yes. It’s important to keep Uni going. My autism delayed and then (for a time) completely derailed my Uni studies. If sleep is good and Uni is good that will lift up the rest of your life and make it easier to deal with carpets, colds, cats and washing machines, – among other things! I have actually seen a TV doco about a young autistic (idealistic) law student graduate in the UK. He eventually did get a job notwithstanding the issues caused by his autism. My thinking is the law and philosophy whilst being non technical are well suited to many autistics. Anyway, I am digressing. I do think it’s worth seeing your GP about melatonin. I hope my advice is useful.
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Where I live people aren’t taking it so seriously. For months I stayed mostly at home, going for a walk at the end of each day to decompress, grocery store a couple times a week.
Wearing a mask outside, trying to stay a few feet from other people seems to have shown to be enough (so far).
It’s summer here now, I’ve walked through really packed beaches during new year holidays, so far no explosion on numbers of cases.
Don’t know about restrictions in your area, maybe you could try and go more outside, bit by bit, staying far from others, etc.
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