I don’t sleep well anyway… somehow tonight was so much worse than normal. I had a few alcoholic drinks to chill before I went to bed. I ended up with crippling stomach ache due to built up gas. It was so painful. I eventually fell asleep after the pain had dulled a little. I woke up an hour later so if was barely a proper sleep. Then my cats decided that they were going to have a loud disagreement. I had to intervene because it got a bit vicious. I told them off and hissed. It works because technically you’re talking cat and in the tone that they know means stop. They are now sitting in different parts of my bedroom looking like they’re sulking. Honestly, pets can be like children at times. They’ve lived with each other from day one. They do tolerate each other most of the time. Then occasionally they have a massive bust up over whatever that was over. I feel like crap due to lack of sleep. I hate what is happening out there right now. I just feel so tired of the whole pandemic. Then I start worrying if I’m going to be one of the ones that catch it and dies.
I’m not scared but I just long for the whole thing to be over. We are technically in a worse position than we were at the start of the first lockdown. We have a vaccine but no actual progress. Life is far from being normal. It’s showing no signs of going back to anything that resembles normality. I then realise that I never lived life to the full. I never went on holidays, did fun things etc. If things don’t return to normal then I won’t get to do any of those things. I could have done them all but until this happened I didn’t realise I had missed out. If I am unlucky enough to catch it and get the worse effects then I may die without doing all the things I haven’t experienced yet. I’m wanting a change of scenery. We have been stuck in our own localities for nearly a year. I want to go abroad or something just to unwind from the feeling of being mentally trapped in one place. I’m stockpiling money to go towards a flight somewhere after this is finally all over.