Tier 4 for our area. Welcome back to lockdown again. Unrelated, I’m having a down day :(

I was feeling down before I found out that our area is going to be one of those being put in tier 4 restrictions. The fact that the schools aren’t being shut only staggered restarts introduced; doesn’t fill me with much hope that this situation is going to be over soon. The schools are where the virus is spreading like wild fire. It seems like our government has no sense. The rest of us that have been following the rules since day one is having our lives left on hold because of those few careless individuals not taking any precautions. I’m totally done with it all. I got a notification advising me to shield if possible due to being on the clinically vulnerable list. I’m getting a reoccurring slot for food delivery each week from one of the supermarkets. That has taken me months to sort out. I’m quite confident when it has came to going outside because I don’t feel unsafe out there. I’m told that I’m in the vulnerable category but I don’t see myself that way. I am more concerned now that I actually know people who have contracted the virus within the local area. I have grown out of Epilepsy, survived medication prescribed to me which was proven to be too strong for a child, been given various psychiatric medications, given birth to a nine pound baby after a difficult labour, gone through hell in various ways due to the consequences of being autistic. Coronavirus has a huge challenge if it comes for me. I’m a natural fighter in everything because I had to be throughout my life.

That doesn’t always do me any favours. I literally don’t feel things any more after everything I’ve been through. I want to do the whole dating thing, find the one etc, at the same time I just cannot be bothered with all that crap. I’m too used to being single and comfortable in that lifestyle. The cats can be better company than any human. I’m a little fatter than I used to be. I don’t particularly care about that either. It’s not like I’m massively overweight. I have a little more fat on my curvy areas but not spilling over in any other places. I eat mostly vegetarian food which stops me turning into a fat lump, alongside walking of course. I barely eat any fatty foods. I have a bad habit of drinking fizzy stuff or/and alcohol. I barely even eat chocolate or any sweet stuff nowadays. I don’t even take sugar in my tea any longer. That is weird at first but it’s something that I preferred after a few weeks. Tea just tastes weird with sugar to me now I’m used to no sugar. I’m never going to be the shape I used to be while I was younger. I was tiny in my twenties (size 6 at one point briefly but mostly size 8 to 10 UK size)… now I’m approaching my mid thirties I’m starting to spread out a bit. I haven’t managed to get the to a size 16 which I briefly hit in my early 20s. That was due to medication. The weight dropped off after I came off of that medication. Weight doesn’t define your worth. I wish that I could have seen that when I was younger.

2 thoughts on “Tier 4 for our area. Welcome back to lockdown again. Unrelated, I’m having a down day :(

  1. You’re quite right weight does not define you. From reading your blog daily you are a strong and capable person who has fought hard to become the person you are today. Each and every day is a battle but it’s one worth fighting. Let’s hope 2021 will be a bit better. X

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  2. Having just found your blog, it certainly seems like you’ve been through a lot. I can’t fault your criticism of lockdown measures (something I like to complain about on my page) and I hope you continue to stay safe throughout!

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