I managed to see daylight today. I was just too lazy to go for a walk until dusk. I’m now getting rained on so it backfired on me. It’s just spitting at the moment. I didn’t feel like getting out of bed but at least I was awake. I drank alcohol for the first time in days last night. I downed 4 mini bottles of wkd in a few hours while studying my open university module. I never felt the alcohol hit me until way too late. I ended up feeling so sick. I didn’t wake up hung over but felt the morning depression of the night after an alcohol binge. I didn’t feel like I was feeling the effects of the alcoholic content so kept going to the kitchen between television programs I was watching in the background. Then I could barely walk as I hadn’t eaten a lot. I felt better after eating my evening meal but it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I had lots of fun with the how to disappoint my family in five words hashtag yesterday. References to being into women not me and I will never get married. On a serious note though. Here’s some advice from a regularly tipsy woman the wrong side of 30 verging on drifting into the lifestyle of a Bridget jones novel. Marriage definitely isn’t something to consider unless you’ve met the one you actually like completely. The contract also lets the other person own half of everything solely earned including you. If you like your alone time then don’t decide to have a child without the father around because you’ll crumble in the first few months. It’s also not fair to marry someone when you are fully aware that you’re going to have your head elsewhere. There were so many people that got married back in the day knowing that they were gay but went ahead with it anyway. I’m talking before the creation of civil partnerships. Some did it because they were in denial and living up to expectations of family. Expectations of others are irrelevant if going ahead with them causes you to live a lie. You’ll just end up unhappy. You’re also being unfair on the person who is marrying you who is more committed to a life with you than you are with them. I’ve been through a hell of a lot . People don’t believe me when I talk about my life experiences. I have decided that it’s best to stay single if you cannot have the one that has caught your eye. Otherwise you’re either living a lie or just open yourself up to avoidable heartache. Before I became the wise old-er woman that I am now I used to naively think that things would work out okay if you wanted it enough. It turns out that happy endings only happens in fairy tales and romantic films.