The nights are so long when you’re in a bad place mentally.

I feel like I want to escape again. I don’t know where and probably not going anywhere at 6am but it doesn’t stop me feeling like the walls are closing in on me. I need to get away from all the every day life stuff. If I slept better it would help. I’m tired but too wide awake to sleep. I have been too on edge to sleep since 1am after I woke up. An hours sleep doesn’t feel like anything at this point. I’ve been awake too many hours to feel like I’ve actually slept even a tiny bit. I just put out a mouse that one of the cats had brought in. He was injured and kept squeaking at me. I feel bad for putting him out but there wasn’t anything I could do for him. I felt awful because he looked in a lot of pain. I’m too empathic sometimes. I know that I couldn’t do anything for it but I still felt like I was letting him down. I felt down before I found the mouse on the kitchen floor. I’ve felt overwhelmed all week. I could cry at anything at the moment. I’m exhausted. I wish that I could just have proper sleep. The feeling of exhaustion is literally stressful. I get frustrated with myself for being too tired to function properly. I would feel better for just having a few nights of enough sleep. I can drop off to sleep during the day but it’s broken so I still feel exhausted. Then I’m trying to catch up with everything that I haven’t managed to get done due to falling asleep. I feel like I’m in a constant battle when I’m awake. I don’t feel settled. I can never properly rest.

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