I don’t want to do this anymore.

I don’t want to appear ungrateful, that is why I’ve put up with certain things for so long. I just mentally can’t do this normal weekend routine any longer. I feel like it’s mum always snapping her fingers and expecting me to be at hers for dinner. It’s difficult as I feel like I’m a let down if I don’t go. Then I’m made to feel bad that I can’t get up during the day after being unable to sleep at night. The fact that, despite having a bath, I’ve worn the same outfit (changed underwear) for 3 days means that depression is starting to set in. I just feel like certain aspects of life is getting to me. That’s going to destroy me if I just keep going along with a routine I can’t stand. If I use my own mind then I risk being accused of being indoctrinated by other family members who have previously walked away. Then, as my mother helped with decorating, I feel ungrateful for walking off and saying I want to not have life this way any longer.

2 thoughts on “I don’t want to do this anymore.

  1. Nobody who genuinely cares about someone causes them to feel guilty and that they’re not good enough. They do the exact opposite.

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