In a bad place mentally right now.

I totally missed my tutorial thing yesterday. I ended up sleeping the whole day. I just can’t sleep at night. I ended up so tired that I slept for a lot of the last two days. I don’t like to feel like I’m failing at life. I just feel like I’m not doing that great at the moment. I didn’t want to post this entry on world mental health day. That seemed like a predictable thing to do… alongside everyone else posting about their dark times. I didn’t want to join the sea of poor mental health stories. That day is sometimes a little too much for those of us in a bad place. I have kept how I’m feeling low key. The inability to sleep at night can magnify the feelings of being in a dark place. I’m not even sad. I’m just numb, lost and had enough of life stuff. I don’t remember how to truly feel happy. That has been taken over by the sheer tiredness which has built up through lack of sleep. I might be feeling crap due to my anaemia too. I know that it’s getting colder outside due to season changes but I feel ice cold quite a lot. I find it difficult to warm up with the heating on. I just feel awful at the moment. It could be mental or physical, it’s hard to tell at the moment. I just know that it feels a struggle to function a lot right now. I try to do everything but it feels like I’m climbing a mountain.

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