I had the most awful nights sleep :(

I probably shouldn’t even class it as sleeping at night because I actually didn’t sleep until early this morning. I just couldn’t settle down or even relax. I’m so close to just cancelling the new carpets because I don’t feel appreciated as a person by the landlords. I’m not leaving things like that behind when I move to people who don’t see me as an equal or worthy of even being added to Facebook. I know that others don’t see why these things are such a massive deal to me. If they’d had to fight their way to being an equal after being in the care system as an autistic adult they’d know exactly why these insignificant things are issues for me. It’s a huge hassle that I personally do not need in my life right now. I will have to move all my furniture from places like the living room before the carpet is put down. There is loads of stuff in that room. I’ve had enough of being taken for granted and looked down on by others. I may not have a paid job but that doesn’t mean I’m lazy and don’t make an effort in life. I don’t do whatever I want. I’m definitely not a sponger either. I made this place look better for myself because the cat damage was getting on my nerves. I have done enough to here now. I don’t think I should do carpets for people who probably think I’m scum due to who I am as a person. I’m stating my boundaries now.

4 thoughts on “I had the most awful nights sleep :(

  1. Fighting to be seen and treated as an equal is exhausting enough without all the extra hassle life throws at you. And on top of that your restless sleep must be a nightmare

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      1. It is something that has bugged me my whole life. It makes me angry that people don’t accept others for who they are or always think they are better than anyone else.

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  2. fwiw I know how you feel; otoh I also know that mixing professional relationships and personal friendships are fraught with problems and the landlord is probably aware of this. But I still get that feeling of rejection. I think as autistic people we just want to be friends and whether or not the target of that friendship is suitable or appropriate never really occurs to us. And we get hurt.

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