I feel like I want to escape again. I don’t know where and probably not going anywhere at 6am but it doesn’t stop me feeling like the walls are closing in on me. I need to get away from all the every day life stuff. If I slept better it would help. I’m tired but… Read More The nights are so long when you’re in a bad place mentally.

I heard that there was another UK national lockdown on its way earlier. I am so fed up with the current circumstances. I know that I’m not the only one. It’s annoying for those of us that have been doing what is required for months. All the provisions that we have taken, all the sacrifices… Read More Another national UK lockdown is approaching … nooo!

I ended up waiting until late afternoon for my new bed to finally be delivered. Then we had to put it together which took another hour. I need to ring them up again tomorrow due to issues with some of the feet. I can’t leave it like that due to it putting stress on the… Read More Stressful day 😦

I have my bed being delivered tomorrow and I’m already anxious. I have been anxious about it for a few days. Pre anxiety is definitely a thing. It’s a nagging feeling, unlike full blown anxiety. Pre anxiety makes insomnia worse and has made me feel on edge for days prior to any plans. I’ve also… Read More Pre anxious— yes this is real!

I can’t sleep again. Insomnia is one of those irritating issues that doesn’t go away easily. The battery in the smoke alarm needs changing so that beeping isn’t helping matters. It doesn’t do it all the time but has decided to remind me every few minutes at a stupid hour. I need to get it… Read More I feel awful and sleep isn’t happening again 😦

I went for a walk this evening. There is a pub in town that has been empty since 2016. The place is about £600,000 due to there being about 4 bedrooms upstairs. There is land around it too. I always imagine turning the place into a gothic/emo themed place. There isn’t any bar like that… Read More A brilliant idea… apart from the fact I lack funds.

I used my hours of insomnia to study my OU module. I cannot balance things any other way. The current way I’m dealing with studying hours is far from practical. I cannot do any better at the moment. I feel like I’m clinging on to a wall by the tips of my fingers. I’m desperately… Read More This is the best I can do right now.

I don’t want to appear ungrateful, that is why I’ve put up with certain things for so long. I just mentally can’t do this normal weekend routine any longer. I feel like it’s mum always snapping her fingers and expecting me to be at hers for dinner. It’s difficult as I feel like I’m a… Read More I don’t want to do this anymore.

I can read tarot cards for aspects of life. I asked the cards ‘what is my future?’ The cards generally predict the next six months. I don’t like the cards which were drawn: present: ace of swords reversed, hopes and fears: 3 of wands reversed, obstacles: the queen of swords and future: knight of wands.… Read More Prediction of the future using tools isn’t always a positive skill.

I don’t rate today that highly because I haven’t even been out for a walk due to the awful weather. I haven’t been for a walk in two days. I feel quite enclosed in four walls after that long. I doubt that I’m going to sleep tonight… again. I haven’t done a lot today. I… Read More Thanks for all the Birthday messages. / Today has been okay. 5 out of 10 for a birthday.