I have tried to do as little as possible today because I’m tired. I made myself go for a walk earlier because I needed fresh air after being inside most of the last few weeks. I was starting to look more pale than normal.
I don’t think I’ll ever have a normal life. I simply cannot describe my life as anything other than bizarre at times. I was sat in my living room watching the television. The house phone then starts beeping at me as if someone is taking it on and off the charge holder. This happened about 6 times in a row. That wouldn’t happen unless someone was lifting the handset off the holder. I got up to have a look to see if there was anything broken on it. There was absolutely nothing wrong with how the phone was positioned etc. A few minutes later it started doing the same thing again. It never did it again since those incidents last night. I woke up in the middle of the night with a page up on IBS (Irritable bowel syndrome) which I’m sure that I never searched in google before falling asleep. I opened my mobile to find safari open on this particular page. I wasn’t even looking up anything on search before I fell asleep. I was only playing the who wants to be a millionaire game on an app, I’m in the bronze 2 league on there. There was nothing else weird that has happened since finding that page open on my mobile this morning. I also had a dream of the person that I mentioned on here the other day. The one that I said that I liked who was a lot older than me. She was in my dream last night alongside all that bizarre stuff that occurred.
I’m used to my life being this way. I have always been able to pick things up and am sensitive to the unexplainable (paranormal, supernatural etc). I was never supposed to have a normal life. I started my adult life in a hospital, then moved to adult residential care. The people that sent me there probably never thought that I’d ever get out of that situation. It took me a decade but now I’m free from even being under adult social care. I still suffer the stigma in regards to how I’m treated by others. There are lots of people who have seen me as below them due to being ‘under the care of the local authority’ due to being labelled as a vulnerable adult. This means that the only people that seemed to have wanted to know me are users and potential dangerous weirdos.
The decent people don’t want to know me due to all the legislation surrounding vulnerable adults which could potential get them accused of grooming if they’re just kind to me. The real potential abusers don’t care about those laws. They’re normally the types that use, abuse and exit the lives of vulnerable people quite quickly as soon as a consequence becomes public. That happened with my son’s father. He disappeared when my son was about to born and was last known having moved to France. If he had been at least a true friend then he’d let his family members come forward to avoid adoption outside the family so at least I could have had some form of contact with my son. Instead, he scarpered refusing to do a DNA test for social services. He could have got charged with a crime by the police as his sister worked for the care company that I used to be under. That is how ridiculous and isolating these vulnerable adult protection laws can be. He didn’t force me to do anything. I wanted a baby and willingly went there with him. I am able to consent regardless of the law insisting that they’d like to override all our decisions due to having a diagnosis of autism. I am human. I am an equal. I have feelings. I don’t see that society takes these aspects into account. I don’t need to be told who I am. I don’t want to feel forced into what others consider a normal existence or face punishment (that is always how it seemed while I was growing up under the so called support system).