Sleeping is impossible tonight.

I have laid here for hours unable to sleep. I’m worn out and have to be up earlier every day this week. There’s no way that I can stick to plans if I haven’t slept. I feel rough anyway. I haven’t had my monthly as expected yet. It should have come on four days ago. I don’t know how an internal ultrasound could stop it coming on. That’s the only explanation though. That is literally the only thing which happened this month which isn’t a normal occurrence. I don’t miss monthlies apart from when I was pregnant with my son. I know I’m not pregnant this time for definite now. They may have touched something inside of me which has delayed it or something.

I have aches all down my legs from falling off the stool while painting on Monday. The bruises have started to come out. I didn’t realise that I’d bruised my legs. I landed on my back. That aches a little bit. I feel overwhelmed tonight. It’s not a great idea to add alcohol to the mix. The added alcohol has made me feel even more overwhelmed and on edge. I thought it would relax me. I appear to have gone full scale insomniac tonight. I need to totally give up drinking alcohol now that lockdown is over. We all probably fell into unhealthy habits. I don’t know about others but I don’t want to drink anymore.