I’m slightly closer to finding an answer.

I found my test results uploaded to my online account. They didn’t inform me at the appointment but it’s noted that there was a cyst on my left ovary. Well, that explains a lot. These things secrete hormones alongside the ones that are already floating around in your body. This explains why I felt pregnant sometimes but still had monthlies. If that cyst is secreting out the hormones which mimics pregnancy then this solves the mystery. It doesn’t seem like I can do anything about my weight gain. I will be constantly fighting a losing battle if the thing starts secreting bulk causing hormones. I should have come on my monthly by now. I don’t know if they disturbed anything while having my ultrasound. I was told to push down one half of my stomach to move a bowel that was getting in the way. I probably don’t have everything sitting exactly where it should be as my son was 9lbs (yes ouch) and his birth wasn’t straight forward. The experience would put you off having any more babies for life. I am glad that I can definitely rule out being pregnant.

I’m not sure what happens next. I need to call my doctor. They may not want to take it off but the way it makes my monthlies drives me mad. I can’t carry on the way I am every month. I managed to control things by taking my medication last month. That medication isn’t safe to take long term though. I can’t keep taking iron tablets to prevent getting anaemic on a long term basis either. Iron tablets have been proven to cause other health issues if taken on a long term basis. That is also the reason why I’m not keen on taking antidepressants for my entire life. The fact that they’ve made me feel emotionally numb after being prescribed them since the age of 18 isn’t the way I’d like to stay for life. I used to think that not feeling emotional pain would be a good thing. In reality, that is a horrible way to exist. I do get tearful sometimes but it’s normally due to feeling exhausted rather than being upset. I don’t sleep at night which isn’t helpful. I try to sleep… I just seem nocturnal. Nights are so much more relaxed and peaceful in comparison to the day light hours. I can reset my pattern (I have in the past); I’m just quite undisciplined at the moment.