I have found today’s heat too much. I can’t even think straight at the moment. I spent half the day in bed because I couldn’t stand the heat as soon as I woke up. It’s too humid! I literally keep getting stuck to things. I didn’t go for a walk today. I feel fat because I’m bloated (yep, it’s that time again). I’ve put on weight. I look at myself disgusted at how I look around my middle. I even dream of people asking me if I go the gym. That is how much the weight gain has negatively affected me. I eat all healthy things. I shouldn’t have any fat build up. I’m always too exhausted to exercise and even walking hasn’t melted the fat much. I have been active for the last fortnight due to sorting out my flat and decorating (painting can be as good as a gym workout).
Then the government has launched this campaign to get everyone to lose weight. That doesn’t help. It’s like a constant reminder of all the fatty parts of my body that I absolutely cannot stand. Those with eating disorders must be extremely triggered by that advert. I’ve seen some extremely skinny younger women (and some men) walking around since that campaign was launched. It’s reminding those that worry about weight gain several times a day. Those of us with mental health issues have major issues with not getting things ‘stuck’ in our heads. The advert is a reinforcement of the message that you need to lose weight. That is potentially a damaging effect for those with certain issues. It’s affecting me because I know that I’ve gained a stone during lockdown. I don’t need this rubbed in my face so much that it gets stuck in my head and I start obsessing or/and getting down over excess weight.